3 Months post-partum & a dead animal in my shower drain?

When I was pregnant with lil miss Amira I remember suddenly having thick, luscious and shiny hair! Pre-pregnancy I have ALWAYS been one of those girls who shed quite a bit a hair. I think this is because I have curly hair; I actually don’t comb/brush my hair unless I am washing it; so I guess when I am putting it up or “running” my hands through it it only makes sense that a “few” strands would fall out. BUT when I got pregnant the first time I was BEYOND shocked to see hardly any shedding!

Enter lil Amira being 3 months old and I remember clearly hubby was holding her as I washed my hair… I remember it being really difficult to comb my conditioner through, that there was actually quite a few “matted” areas that hurt to even TRY to get my afro comb through! Post shower I remember bending down to pick up my strands from the drain and lo and behold – it literally looked like I had drowned a rat! Hubby and I freaked out! for the next few months each and every wash resulted in copious amounts of hair being shed – it was depressing and beginning to worry me when I could seriously FEEL that I now had a LOT less hair! Not long after that I started my ‘No Poo’ regime and started washing my hair with bicarb and water and then ‘conditioning’ my hair with apple cider vinegar and found that almost instantly I started to shed SO much less!

When I got pregnant with Rocco I remember WAITING for that thick, shiny hair… but it never came! Everything more or less just stayed the same… my hair looked exactly the same. I couldn’t help but wonder if all the extra hair and lusciousness of it the first time around was because I was having a girl and that the second time around (as I was having a boy) all that extra hormone wasn’t quite as necessary.

So now 3 months later I have gone to wash my hair and sadly report that there now ANOTHER dead rat in my drain! I’ve washed my hair three times since the 11^th and each time I have shed a sad amount of hair… don’t even get me started about how difficult it is to even COMB… I did not expect this (again) this time around as it seemed that with this pregnancy I hadn’t gotten any “extra” hair that needed to be discarded. I can only hope that the shedding doesn’t go for much longer as its driving me crazy – both when I am washing my hair and the fact that both hubby and I have noticed that I seem to forever be cleaning up strands of hair from my bathroom floor!

Welcome to the world

Three days overdue and we finally (thanks to induction) say hello to our little boy!

Its beyond amazing how different one experience can be from another; after I had Amira I remember being completely and utterly besotted by her. I sat there staring at her, completely in awe of every little thing she did. I had totally fallen in love with every molecule of her being and she had me completely. But then on the flipside of that; I hated what had become of myself. I felt ashamed of my body and what it looked like post-partum. I cringed looking in the mirror at my changes in my shape; my no-longer flat stomach and my linea-nigra (the darkish vertical line that runs along the belly that starts to show around about the 3^rd trimester) that I foolishly thought would disappear as soon as I’d have her and how I still looked pregnant after already having a baby. I was sore all over; not to mention my “lady region” which, after an episiotomy felt more than tender; I could cry from the agony of it all! For MONTHS and months I felt ruined and even after I could refit into my pre-pregnancy clothes I felt slightly robbed and disappointed that I wasn’t the same.

And that’s not even getting me started on the emotions I felt post Amira… I’m yet to see where the differences may be there!

But now; 24 hours later since having my lil boy (who we’ve named Rocco) I feel so different; I’ve had my shower and looked at myself in the mirror and don’t hate what I see. Instead I actually feel pretty good. I still have that line (again) but I know I just need to see past it and eventually (in a few months) it will fade and disappear. I didn’t tear or need to have an episiotomy this time so my ‘lady parts’ feel a lot more “normal” and I am far more mobile. And I am actually wanting to be mobile and moving this time around; I don’t feel quite like I’m wetting myself with every movement (which is what I experienced with missy – oh how we never appreciate our bladder pre-baby until we have a baby!). I feel more “in control” this time around.

How long that lasts for is a whole other matter though… I guess only time will tell.