Three days overdue and we finally (thanks to induction) say hello to our little boy!
Its beyond amazing how different one experience can be from another; after I had Amira I remember being completely and utterly besotted by her. I sat there staring at her, completely in awe of every little thing she did. I had totally fallen in love with every molecule of her being and she had me completely. But then on the flipside of that; I hated what had become of myself. I felt ashamed of my body and what it looked like post-partum. I cringed looking in the mirror at my changes in my shape; my no-longer flat stomach and my linea-nigra (the darkish vertical line that runs along the belly that starts to show around about the 3rd trimester) that I foolishly thought would disappear as soon as I’d have her and how I still looked pregnant after already having a baby. I was sore all over; not to mention my “lady region” which, after an episiotomy felt more than tender; I could cry from the agony of it all! For MONTHS and months I felt ruined and even after I could refit into my pre-pregnancy clothes I felt slightly robbed and disappointed that I wasn’t the same.
And that’s not even getting me started on the emotions I felt post Amira… I’m yet to see where the differences may be there!
But now; 24 hours later since having my lil boy (who we’ve named Rocco) I feel so different; I’ve had my shower and looked at myself in the mirror and don’t hate what I see. Instead I actually feel pretty good. I still have that line (again) but I know I just need to see past it and eventually (in a few months) it will fade and disappear. I didn’t tear or need to have an episiotomy this time so my ‘lady parts’ feel a lot more “normal” and I am far more mobile. And I am actually wanting to be mobile and moving this time around; I don’t feel quite like I’m wetting myself with every movement (which is what I experienced with missy – oh how we never appreciate our bladder pre-baby until we have a baby!). I feel more “in control” this time around.
How long that lasts for is a whole other matter though… I guess only time will tell.
A Journey of Mum 