The changing face of romance with two kids

Over the weekend I decided to have some of girlfriends over – I don’t do this anywhere near as often as I should or would like to. To be honest, I am so elusive at a number of events or get together that I am certain a number of people have wondered about the “real-ness” of Farah’s existence! This is for a few reasons: being married into a half Greek, half Italian family means that there are is fair amount of events to go to as it is involving family. In addition I have a “high needs” parent means that a LOT of time is being taken up with my mum; not to mention that there the other usual ‘dance around the mulberry bush’ situations like sick children, teething toddler, being sick myself after all the kids have been sick and hubby also being struck down… you catch the drift.

Anyway – I tell hubby that I am having the girls over and this is what transpires;

Hubby: his Saturday? I have footy to go to…

Me: um – ok… they’re coming for dinner…

Hubby: oh ok – what are you going to make?

Me: I hadn’t really thought about it but I have a hankering for sticky date pudding so I will be making that for dessert. Why?

Hubby: I wanted to make a lasagne – how about I make a big baking tray full and you can serve that up to your friends and not have to cook

*seriously, at this point I am STARING with amazement about how BRILLIANT my husband is*

But then it gets even better on the day:

Hubby: are you going out this morning?

Me: why?

Hubby: I am wondering if you could take me to mum and dad’s so that I can go to footy with dad as my car is there.

Me: yeah – I can do that; but I still need to get a couple bits and pieces this morning from the shops…

Hubby: ok – did you want to take the kids with you and I’ll do a quick vacuum for when the girls come around?

Honestly – how ROMANTIC is my husband?

*Just as an FYI, I have added a sneaky pic that one of my girlfriends took of the dinner – the lasagne was AMAZING! The man makes his own sauce – from scratch… that he has cooking on the stove for a good portion of the day (the day prior)

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Husband Logic: Adam Antics

I feel that I seriously need to have an entire topic/heading dedicated to the funny things my husband does. I know that he probably may be highly unimpressed that I am creating a whole section dedicated to things he certainly wouldn’t appreciate out there in the blogosphere – but hey, it’s my blog and I’m, posting it!

Last minute Saturday night I decided to whip up this:

 

Delicious German Apple Cake. Seriously – there is something so deliciously comforting and amazing about cream cheese frosting. I am nearly positive that this is what won me over. I am SO into cream cheese frosting that I remember a time when I’d head to Muffin Break for my morning muffin and coffee and I’ order the weight watchers sugar free muffin…. THEN ask them to add a (serious) dollop of cream cheese frosting. I ordered this so regularly that at one point of the ladies felt compelled to tell me that by adding the cream cheese i was no longer making it sugar free. I swear I looked at her like she was the crazy one… has she not heard of ‘mind over matter”?

But I digress (as usual) – anyway, this morning I noticed that an “edge” was missing – I asked hubby later on in the car that I noticed a good edge of cake had gone missing:

Me: um – I went to pop the cake away and I noticed a fair edge had gone missing…

Hubby: oh yeah – I had that for breakfast *note that tone in his voice is completely ‘matter of fact’

Me: what? Adam; CAKE is NOT a breakfast food!

Hubby: um –yes it is! People eat scrambled eggs for brekky – there was egg in that cake. People have milk with their coffee or cereal or oats – cream cheese frosting is DAIRY! AND it had apple in it – A FRUIT! Also, bread is made from flour and cake is made from flour so it is practically the same thing.

Me: *rolling eyes*

I mean really – WHAT could I say?

On another note – I have to say that it is a scrumptious cake – if you get a chance to make it I totally recommend it. I added a bit of lemon juice to my frosting. SO yummy!

 

The things a parent can’t change – sleep issues

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I feel there comes a point where we as parent’s have to concede to our “needs” for the sake of our own sanity. The problem lies, where the other parent may feel/think differently. On and off, for the last couple month’s missy (nearly 2yrs) has been waking very early in the morning and we have been trying to get her to either stay asleep, or at the very least calm down and stop crying at the top of your lungs until you are released from the sanctity of said bedroom. I know what she wants; daddy knows what she wants and she certainly knows that what she wants is to be nice and cosy in our bedroom surrounded by mummy & daddy. In fact; she’ll even settle for one of us (more so me) being in her room whilst she clutches my hand for dear life.

Anyway; for weeks we tried methods that included calming her down + soothing then walking out, returning when the crying got escalated and trying again. To NO avail. After one particular morning that started from 12.48am where ALL morning I was doing the soothing methodology til 6 (at which point is desperately have to get ready for work – albeit I am there in a zombie-like trance) something inside of me snapped. In the calmest yet sternest of voices I told her that from this morning onward there was NO more calming down – that mummy loves her but that mummy has had ENOUGH of her games and there was NO MORE.

That night I stood my ground when at 1.15am she woke up and cried. Don’t judge me people but you have no idea how tired we both were; how angry and annoyed hubby was and how bitterly disappointed I was in myself and my beautiful child that I could not manage to get her back to sleep that didn’t involve her coming into bed with us. For 30minutes she would start and stop crying; I watched her in the baby monitor as each time she had stopped crying for between 2-5minutes and watch the door. And with EACH time she did this – watched and waited for me with what I truly believe EXPECTATION, my resolve only grew more strong. Then I saw her lay down and go to sleep; only to do it again at 3.50am (for 15ish minutes this time) and then insist the day begin at 5:30am with yet more crying. For a little over a week this lasted but then all seemed ok – we were still frustrated at the 5am wake ups though but I decided that overall it was still a win!

Then the 5am wake ups and journey into our room (&bed) began to frustrate hubby – and being the dutiful wife I like to keep all members happy so obliged to train her out of this too (even though deep down I personally was not phased). And now here we are – between 3:30am and 4:20am missy will now get up crying and going off her tree until we get her.

It’s slowly killing me but I am TRYING to persevere.

It has obliterated all semblance of patience my husband has with her & when he goes into her room for the second time to tell her to sleep and that it’s still “nigh-nigh time” it is NOT soothing chastise.

This morning I came undone. After hubby went in to give her a dummy and insist she go back to sleep (it was 3.28am) and after her being silent for 10minutes she started up again and I was over it all. I grabbed my cardigan and clipped up my hair and went into her room and in a defeated but motherly voice asked her to please clam down and lay down and that mummy was here. I grabbed her spare blanket and sat in the new chair I got for room slid a foot between the ‘bars’ of her cot which she grabbed and hugged against her chest.

I can’t keep fighting this anymore – I slowly began to fall asleep there until my alarm went off to get ready for work.

Hubby is saying that I am making a rod for my own back – that with baby #2 on his way in 9weeks it will only get worse. I don’t care anymore; I would much rather her be quiet so that we CAN get SOME sleep then what we’ve been doing thus far (I mean; clearly we’re not winning the war here! And I can’t help but think that I should, as I always have – pick my battles). I am spent with this whole situation and think that overall, her issue with being up at about 4:30am is just a cross I am going to have to bear and just hope it’s a phase… they DO grow up so quickly and I just have to keep plodding along – then when she gets into a proper bed I am more than ok with her either crawling into bed with us (hubby told me this morning that he did NOT like this idea as it was OUR bed) or me getting into bed with her. I actually don’t mind that option – I mean; am I not her mother and as such should be putting her needs before my own? Clearly she wants mummy next to her at that hour – how REALLY does it hurt me? She sleeps the remaining 75% of the night.

I’m just over the fight of it all.

Sadly my morning only got emotionally worse.